Im Ba-ack

Get excited.
Get emotional.
Get ready to jump outta your seats and pump your fists in the air, cos I AM BACK and I am sure that I am far more cynical and unimpressed with life than I was when I last put typeface to computer screen.....

Now that the Nike advertisement of an intro is over, yes yes oh valued readers, whose numbers are in the thousands I am sure, I have returned to the land of blogs and am ready to bitch to all who care with a vengeance.

But before the torrential downpour of whinging and cynical moaning begins, I feel I must catch you up on what has been going on in my life since I last wrote.....

First of all I AM STILL IN THE SAME JOB!!!!! I am actually sitting at a desk at work now, pretending with every inch of my body to look as though I am intently working on a Dangerous Dog Declaration. And yes, I still hate the place. So if any valued readers would like to employ me to read books/talk shit over a cup of tea/go to the gym you know how to contact me. Herrrrrmmm, Im sure the offers will FLY on in.......

The man of my life and myself now have a unit and a mortgage..... its actually a rather nice unit and for the most part I really do enjoy this step in my life...... except for when I have PMS......

A whole bunch of my friends have gotten engaged- so I have been and am currently still going to engagement parties, hens nights and kitchen teas..... which sounds like a blast. Except of course that every one of these occasions means I have to buy a present, often for people I have barely spoken to for the last 3 years. Now I dont mean to sound bitter BUT WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME THEY BOUGHT ME A PRESENT!?!? I am actually tempted to fake my engagement just for a shiny new stainless steel toaster and a clothes dryer.......

And finally, I am ashamed to admit it, but I am hopelessly and completely addicted to the Aussie Biggest Loser. Seriously. I even shout at the television, in the vain hope that a time vortex will open and the contestants will hear me. OH MY GOD I AM TURNING INTO MY PARENTS. Oh how it hurts to age....

Well I guess I am done with this post, but I shall be back. Wait till you hear about my new GREAT CAREER IDEA and why I LOVE OPRAH.......

Til we next meet oh valued readers, farewell and blessings from some completely non-denominational and non-political higher entity.....