So Not Good

I am so unhappy at the moment. I dont know why, all I know is that I am. Its my job its my life. How can I know so many people and still feel lonely? I live with one person and one cat and I spend so much time feeling like the only people on earth.

I dont think anyone actually wants to spend time with me. Well correction, the people who I wish wanted to spend time with me dont seem to want to. I feel avoided. I get the distinct impression that people will go out of their way and find other things to do.

I am so quietly miserable. I can fake it, and I do. I fake being happy I fake laugh, I pretend that I feel secure, happy and that my life is on track. I should have been an actor I fake it so good. But I cant remember the last time that I actually felt as happy as I pretend to feel.

Im sick of crying at night. Im sick of feeling like a failure. But I dont know how to make things right anymore. Dammit Im sick of the fact that I am crying right now. Maybe its PMS but who has THIS much PMS?

Im sorry to load this all on you, whoever you are if you even bother to read this. But I gotta tell someone and no-one else really seems to listen.

The end.