Thursday, October 20, 2005

Job Hunting

Attention all fun and funky fashionistas! Are you a RETAIL SUPERSTAR! Are you ready for a fantastic challenge in a dynamic team environment? Do you have a positive CAN DO ATTITUDE and great INTERPERSONAL SKILLS?

In the last month I have read so many Positions Vacant Ads I am beginning to sound like one.

They are all so tacky. Most of them are hyping up really boring and uninteresting positions with phrases like "fun team environment" or "unique role for the right person". But lets get down to it. Most of these roles are either:

a) talked up glorified store assistants roles

b) boring communist call centre environments.

Just once I wish I would read an ad that was REAL. An ad that said what the job really was.....

"Are you unskilled, uneducated, unintelligent and looking for a role where you get kicked around by and asshole job for a minimum wage? Are you looking for a role where the the highlights of your working day are smoko and hometime? We are looking for an unenthusiastic shitkicker to join our team of highly bitter and resentful people. You will be required to stand around, complain about the shithole you work in, occasionally act as though you are actually working and blame all your mistakes on the outdated computer system. Overtime is unpaid and essential. And we will make sure that you miss out on as much fun as is humanly possible."

See that is real life. That is what 50% of the jobs that are in the leader each week should actually read. You are not a "fashion expert", you are a store assistant that didnt make it into a design course. You are not a "hygiene consultant" you are an underpaid cleaner.

Im not sure if this made sense but its what I think.

The End

1 comment:

damien said...

how true. i saw one that said "are you a gunn salesperson with charisma" and all it was was a salesperson at domayne.They always involve weekend work aswel which sux. All the good jobs are given to people who know the manager/owner while the rest of us have to fight over the scraps