True Confessions

I have a confession to make.

I am not proud of it nor do I want anyone to judge me for the decisions that I have made. I understand that this confession could render me a social outcast (nothing new) and I am sure that I will lose friends because of what I am about to say.

I hate NRL. I hate the teams the game the players. I hate the cheerleaders (I have tit envy). I dont understand the rules, nor do I wish to take the time to learn them. I dont care who you tip- cowboys or warriers? Who ARE the COWBOYS? WHO CARES! I dont understand what a line drop out is. i dont understand why you gotta throw backwards to move forwards. I dont understand why they call it football when you dont use your feet much. I dont even understand why they call it a "ball since it is not round.


Dont get me wrong. I have TRIED to get into the phenomenon that its NRL. When you live in the Shire and go to school at Kogarah (home of the mighty Dragons. Yay.), you kinda have to at least pretend that you care about the fate of 11 meatheads, 25 big titted lollipop cheerleaders and a stupid mascot. I have supporter gear. For both St George and the Sharks. Ive been to the games. BUT I DONT CARE.

For me, there was always two reasons why I went to the football. Well for a brief period, there was 3. Firstly, I have always known someone who knows someone, so I have always been able to get in for free, or for a substantial discount. And even if you hate the game, who can give up a free ticket? In high school it was COOL that I knew a security guard who could get me into the lockers after the game. I mean I think that St George LOST, but I dunno.
Secondly, it was always a place where we could go and score beers. When we were underaged, there was always one drunk fanatic who thought we were cute lil' dragons supporters who was good for getting us a few VBs and passing them over to us to drink behind the hill. And when we were legal, it was all about buying 4 at a time, and trying to drink as many as fast as we could, so that by the time we were in the club pretending to listen to the presentations we were barely able to stand.
Thirdly, and mind you, only in my younger years, it was the perfect place to go when we were stoned. No one noticed our red eyes and if they did they probably attributed them to our emotional involvement in the game. And there is ample cheap dodgy food that is easily accessible whould we get the munchies. Hot dog and wedges with sourcream and sweet chilli? Sign me up.

But for me, once the novelty of getting in for free, the joy of drinking feral VB and the fun of getting stoned wore off, there was nothing left but a bunch of overgrown meatheads running into each other wearing stupid shorts.

I cant enjoy an experience if I cant understand it, and to me, the game of NRL simply highlights all the things that are wrong in this world at this time. The idolisation of idiots and anorexics. "My teams better than your team". Need I say more.

So I hope, dear readers, that you can still respect me after my confession. I understand if you no longer see me as a "true Aussie". I understand if I am evicted from the shire cos I dont care if the sharks never win a premership. But please, my friends, try to be understanding.

Bye.