Complexes

When I was 15, my best friend (who I must add is my best friend to this very day) told someone who told someone who told me that with my long hair and long face, I looked like a horse. Yes a horse, good ole miss horse face herself. Now I would like to say that I retaliated with quick witted humour, that I trumped her with a comeback so obscure and intelligent that it cut her straight to the bone, but if I said that I would be lying. No it actually hurt, and for the next 3 years everytime I looked in a mirror at my long thick straight hair, I thought to myself 'wow you really DO look like a horse'.
So at 18, with the cruel horseface taunt playing on repeat on the radio station that is my mind, I went to JustCuts at Miranda and got the whole lot chopped off. Cropped, spiked, short. Some have been known to say dikey.
See, the taunt, which my best friend can no longer even remember coming up with (though she did find it rather amusing when I reminded her and confessed that that was the cause for my short locks), well it became a complex for me. It haunted me to the point where it is only now, at the grand old age of 23, that I am comfortable with the notion of growing my hair back long.
I often fall victim to complexes. One person will say one thing in a fleeting comment, and BAM I'm agonising over my physical disability.
For instance, back in my born again christian days, it was a hot summers day and I wore thongs to church. My friend who was sitting next to me looked down and said "wow you have hair on the tops of yr feet" and went back to singing the praise and worship song.
So I looked down and sure enough, there was hair. I mean its not as if I have werewolf feet that look like built in furry ugg boots, but yeah there where a couple of stray hairs on the tops of my feet. Nothing too spectacular.
But the comment stuck in my mind, and I found myself finding more and more reasons to wear closed in shoes. In fact, after that comment, it was 2 years before I had the guts to wear thongs in public.
Then there was the girl who I was marking in a soccer game who said "wow you have the biggest muscles in your legs that I ever saw" Now I think this was actually meant to be a COMPLIMENT. But do you think I was seen wearing shorts or a skirt for the next 2 years? No way, you couldnt have paid me enough to show off those giant legs of mine.
The certain ex-boyfriend who nicknamed me RissaBelly cos of my belly? Yep you guessed it, No tight tops ever again. Or swimmers. In fact to this day I suck in whenever anyone goes near that region. Just ask the current man!
Now Im not sure why I felt the need to blog this, but I have two suggestions that I will let you chose from:
1) I wanted to prove to you all, once and for all, how much of a nutcase I really am... I mean Im sure that the men in white coats are just around the corner, waiting for the right moment to come and get me.....
2) This is therapy and I needed to get it all off my chest (my small chest. my tissue stuffed chest... AAAAAGGGHHHHH I feel a complex a'comin!!!)
I must dash, I have to go and will my boobs to grow for half an hour in the mirror....
Just jokin.