Nigel No Friends

It has recently come to my attention that I do not have a set group friends. Oh I have friends, and I even have friends that have been known to congregate in groups. But it has been discovered that I do not have that group of childhood friends who have known each other for so long that they can reminisce about primary school, that group who played sport together, went to school together, smoked bongs together, cheated on each other, fought with and bitched about each other, backstabbed and used each other.....

Oh right, thats why.

See I had friends in primary school.I even had a group of friends. We had a gang. We were rebellious. We sat OUT OF BOUNDS. We were real tight, we all sat together and had sleepovers...... Then I got changed classes into the "smart" class (Im not boasting, its the truth, ok?) and suddenly they thought I thought I was too good. Which at the grand old age of 10 was news to me, it had never occured to me that I was smart or particularly good- I wasnt even a fast runner! I couldnt do a handstand! How good could I be?

Now in this designated "smart class" I again started off on the right foot, group of friends, birthday parties, sleepovers.... Then my physical disabilities began to hinder me- I wore glasses, and I was rather on the "chubby" side of life. now by chubby, I mean a few kilos overweight, not childhood obesity fat boobs at 7 type chubby. Festively plump is more accurate. But unfortunately being a four eyed thunder thighed butter ball does not make you "most popilar girl in the world" material anyway.

Now with both of these groups Im sure I could have begged. I could of grovelled for their acceptance and agreed to be their slave in return for the charity of their friendship. Actually, in the case of the last group, I think that is pretty much what they wanted me to do.

But its not in my makeup to be so undervalued and it is NOT in my makeup to beg and grovel for the acceptance of people that really isnt worth it in the first place. I might have been young, but I had a good enough judgement of character to recognise petty superficial morons when I saw them.

Besides, to be honest, I didnt really like them all that much anyway.

Now in High School, when most people quickly found their circles and formed their cliques, I found that I really didnt fit any of the little groups that popped up. Not beautiful, not nerdy. Arty, but not in the way of the arty girls. Not sporty enough for the sporty ones. Not "fully sick" enough for the Bankstown Girls.

Now I guess that some people learn to assimilate and to become like those around them specifically so they fit in. Now I may have tried this at many stages but it never worked and my true colours always shined back through. oopps.

So I sat in the "assorted misfits" pile and gradually we sorted ourselves into our own little sub-misfits groups. My best friend (to this very day) was also an assorted misfit.

So there you all go, my dirty secret uncovered. I dont have a group of friends that I grew up with and who remember the time I farted under the ping pong table at Sharons 7th birthday party when we were hiding from Naomi (but now you guys know anyway.... doh). Oh, the shame, the dirty dark shame. Indeed.

To be honest, I dont think it is really such a horrible thing. I have friends of all ages and from all walks, and I probably would not have had the honour of meeting some of them if I was hiding in the comfort of my own group. But thats just my opinion, and my opinion is based on the fact that I am happy.....

Indeed