PMS

I have PMS. Thats right. Right this very second you are reading the rants of a female plagued with the dreaded PMS. If this is a frightening fact, please stop reading now. Actually wait. Dont stop. IF I HAVE TO PUT UP WITH THESE BLOODY RAGING HORMONES THEN ALL OF YOU BLOODY WELL SHOULD. Share and share alike, thats what I think.

I thought I had PMS last week, but it turns out that was a mere case of the mid-week blues. I havent had REAL PMS for a while, so I had forgotten what a raging PMS episode can feel like. WELL NOW I KNOW.

Firstly, I am completely irrational. And I mean completely. Anything that anyone says can be completely misconstrued and turned into something completely different. A simple look can mean that someone hates me. Laughter behind my back, even if it is obviously about something unrelated like porno pics involving 2 buffalo, is obviously aimed at me and they are obviously laughing at my expense. Anything said in the wrong tone means that the person who said it either hates me or thinks they are better than me.

I also have a very short fuse. For example: No carparks left in the carpark at the gym. Now without PMS I would drive around in a relatively calm and methodical manner unitl one became available. TODAY however I burst into tears of frustrated anger and burnt rubber around that lot for ten minutes, screamed out a very naughty word and then drove home fuming. I also abused a woman (in a 4WD of course) for trying to sideswipe me when she pulled out of a park without indicating or looking. Well not verbal abuse. But alot of horn action and a few rude gestures were sent her way. I spent 10 minutes screaming at some boofhead who decided it was a cool idea to do 40 in a 60 zone. I rammed the breaks on something fierce when some trashbag in a beat up van decided that it would be fun to sit right up my ass. I went off at the man in my life for a matter that is rationally not really a matter at all.

I am also incredibly teary. I have cried 4 times- no wait 5 times including the carpark rage- 5 times in the past 25 hours:

I cried while listening to "Your beautiful" on the radio- you know that bit where he says "I saw your face in a crowded place and I dont know what to do. Cos I'll never be with you"? yep set me right off. In fact I am starting to tear up again now.

I cried while listening to "Throw Your Arms Around Me" Also on the radio.

I cried while I was out walking and an old favourite song of mine came on that I forgot was loaded onto my MP3 player. Now I have to admit that its a christian song so I wont even bother to name it. But yep, walkin, sweatin and cryin I was.

I cried when I got home and tried to work out dinner for myself and couldnt find anything to eat that I wanted. Then I realised it was because I wasnt hungry and I think that made me cry even more.

And, of course, I cried while in the parking lot of the gym.

Finally, as much as a person who is in the state I am in should keep themselves hidden from rest of society until they have dragged themselves from the dregs of PMS hell, I crave human company. Well, more than that I want A BIG BLOODY HUG. Which is irrational as nobody in their right mind would dare to come near me let alon hug me. But there you go.

I am irrational, angry, teary and in need of affection.

GOD I WISH I WAS A MAN!!!!!!!